Simon Tam [Firefly] (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
pompous_today) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
doublestars2012-03-15 10:23 pm
pompous_today) wrote in doublestars2012-03-15 10:23 pm
Fanfic: "Past", Simon/Kaylee, PG
Title: Past
Author:shurimon
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Simon Tam/Kaylee Frye
Rating: PG for mild swearing
Summary: Spoilers for the entire series and movie. Simon finally comes completely clean about his past to Kaylee.
Disclaimer: I do not own Firefly or the characters. I make no profit off of this story.
"When can I meet your folks?"
It should have been a simple question, and it was a natural thing for Kaylee to ask when she and Simon had gotten serious, especially when Simon had met her own mother and father. But at the same time, for him, it was a loaded and still-painful question, one he didn't really like talking about. Kaylee tried acting like she didn't care when he made excuses and continually put off explaining why, but Simon could tell it bothered her. And she had every right to feel that way, he thought; considering her own close relationship with her parents, it may have been difficult for her to understand why he would not be eager to introduce her to his own in return.
"Going to have to explain it to her sometime," was his sister's placid reply when Simon took her aside one day to discuss the matter in private, sitting with her at the foremost point of Serenity, in the small alcove in front of the bridge. "You trust her. I trust her. Trust shouldn't come with secrets. She should know." Simon sighed and crossed his arms.
"I have kept things from her, yes," he said quietly. "For our protection, mind. How do you think she and the others would have reacted if they had known the full truth from the start?"
"Moot point. Secrets embedded in me were dug up. Secrets embedded on a dead planet were dug up. They can be found," River pointed out. Simon bit his lip and nodded with some reluctance. "She loves you, Simon. Her parents are good people. They're not going to leave you behind for your honesty. No secrets."
"I know she does." Simon kissed his sister on the forehead. "But this... it's hard, that's all."
"Harder to explain than a school that uses scalpels and needles instead of books and computers?"
"...True." The two siblings watched the stars in silence for a while, River resting her head on her brother's shoulder. Simon nuzzled against her, wishing they could stay in that peaceful place forever, but things always happened. Questions always occurred.
"River. Do you... do you ever think about trying to talk to Mom and Dad again?" Simon ventured.
"No." Simon looked at his sister with his eyebrows furrowed, surprised by her quick reply- but then again, she may have considered it in the past, too, just like he had. River took a deep breath, and Simon knew she was stopping to assemble her thoughts in as orderly and detailed a fashion as she could. Control over her powers and her shattered mind was slowly, slowly becoming easier, but it was still by no means normal. Not any longer. Perhaps it never would be again. "Would have left me to rot without a second thought. They left you to face the impossible alone, didn't believe you, didn't value either of us. The people who cared for us and saved our lives would be beneath them. The woman you love would be beneath them. Unworthy of consideration. They're distant to me now. Alien. Don't want to see or talk to them again."
The stars passed by in silence for another long while, though for Simon, they were blurred by occasional tears stinging his eyes. River silently reached up to wipe them away, her expression unreadable.
"… It must seem silly to you that I'm getting upset, knowing that," he finally remarked. "I guess it's something a part of me has not wanted to acknowledge."
"Not silly. Human. You were always closer to them than me. Knew them longer than me. Always worked to please them. Their abandonment hurt you more than me. It's natural." Simon reached over and gripped his sister's hand, a weight settling on his heart that would take time to disappear- because he realized that even despite everything, a part of him did still miss his parents and wished things had turned out differently. That he could be among his family and the people he was once close to again. That there was something he could do to make bygones be bygones and have a family other than River again. "Secrets and grief should be shared. Brother and sister are family, and the others can be, too. Blood doesn't matter. Talk to her, Simon."
"I will."
* * *
When Simon had poured her tea, Kaylee tightly gripped the cup and peered down into it as she blew to cool it off. She could not put her finger on why it made her so nervous to have this talk with Simon, but it did. His being so secretive about his family made her wary of approaching the subject, and so she was both relieved and scared when he asked her to sit with him and discuss it. If there was some big thing he was hiding about them, though, she felt it was better that it was coming out now, rather than later... or never.
"...Kaylee." She looked up when Simon placed one of his hands over hers. His hand was trembling, but his voice and gaze were steady. "I'm sorry that it took so long for this to come out. I really am. I wanted... to be sure that we could make this work first. There were so many things that could have come between our relationship even aside from this." She nodded, encouraging him to go on, inwardly agreeing with him. "I've dreaded having this conversation for months. But now that we're at this stage, I want there to be no more secrets between us."
"Simon. It's okay." She smiled wanly. "I'm listenin' for as long as you want to talk." Simon let go of her hand, folding his own around his teacup.
"Well... you know a good part of my story already. At least from the time River was sent to the Academy. You know the whole truth of what they were trying to do to her. But there's another part that's missing. One I didn't want to discuss because... it hurt on a very deep, personal level. It hurt in a different way than the rest of it did. It's taken me a long time to unpack and sort out my feelings about this, and challenge a lot of perceptions I had about my mother and father... or maybe finally acknowledge what some part of me knew all along.
"I was born rich. You know that. My parents were totally overjoyed when I showed high intelligence from an early age. They encouraged me to do well in school. And I loved them so much, and wanted to please them, very much so. I wanted to be the perfect son for them, to be someone they would be proud of. Then River came along and..." A pained expression crossed his face. "Though they never said so outright, I think she was, to put it delicately, unexpected. That's why I'm 10 years older than her- my parents probably didn't plan to have more than one child. We didn't realize that she had powers at first, so when she was a baby, she was a handful to take care of. She cried a lot and was difficult to keep calm. Then she developed on an intellectual level even faster than I did. Even so, I took care of her as much as I could. She seemed calmer when she was in my presence. And we developed this strong bond. She absolutely adored me, hero-worshipped me, even though she was so much smarter than me, and I loved her deeply. My parents... I'm not sure they knew what to do with her. How to relate to her. So they were... distant with her. They provided everything we ever needed, materially at least, but looking back on it, we lacked other things that can't be quantified."
He paused to take a drink of tea, and Kaylee watched him, a little floored. This was already a lot to take in, and she could sense it wasn't over yet.
"When I became a surgeon, they were so proud of me," he went on. "But River was already at the Academy by then. The people at that institution wouldn't let her so much as send us a wave. She missed my graduation ceremony because they refused to let her leave the facility. I tried not to worry, like my parents told me to, but it was hard when my sister wouldn't acknowledge me. It was so unlike her. Mom and Dad didn't see anything wrong with it. They thought it was because she was growing up and fitting in and finding her own circle of close friends, but I knew in my heart that something wasn't right. I know now that my parents acted like that because they were afraid of doing anything anti-Alliance. That it would ruin them. That they wouldn't be able to recover if their faith in the Alliance and everything it stood for had been misplaced. Which is why they tried to stop me from looking for information on her." Kaylee's mouth fell open at that.
"I got arrested for being in a blackout zone once. My father paid my bail and told me I had to stop and asked me if I was trying to ruin our family. Even though I had proof, had tried to show them, even though it was staring them right in the face, my parents refused to believe that anything was wrong. So my father gave me a choice- either give up, or I would be on my own. I, obviously, chose my sister. Mom and Dad disowned us." Tears were leaking out of Simon's eyes by now, but he kept pressing on.
"What else could I have done? Left River there, knowing what they were doing to her? So I ended up with all of you. And I couldn't... My parents' attitude was like a deep, personal betrayal. I went into medicine in no small part because Dad thought- and told me, many times- that he thought it was one of the few things that was worthy of me. I did end up liking it, but... I tried so, so hard to be everything they wanted me to be. And it all got thrown away because they didn't care enough about their daughter and thought more of their social status and how it reflected on THEM."
Kaylee set her tea down, got up and put her arms around Simon, feeling her own eyes watering, but she didn't let him see that. His words made her feel little stabs of pain in her heart- because she couldn't begin to fathom a parent doing that to their own children. Simon was a son any parent should love and be proud of- his strength and bravery were just two of the reasons she had fallen for him so hard. How could anybody think that worthy of abandonment?
She held Simon, rubbing his back for a while as he collected himself, pulling away when he gave her a quick peck on the cheek and whispered that he was going to be okay. She returned to her seat, and he wiped his eyes on his sleeve.
"River and I have talked about it and... we decided not to have anything to do with them," he told her, sticking one of his hands into his mouth and lightly biting down on one finger. "It is the best choice to make, I think. But it's... hard."
"I can imagine," she replied, her voice almost a whisper.
"They would most likely consider you to be beneath me, too." Kaylee felt a small rush of anger at that, as she did every time she felt that someone was looking down on her for her background, but it was appeased a little when Simon went on, "They would, but I don't. I want you, Kaylee- more than anybody else in the universe. Make no mistake about it- this hasn't been the easiest journey by any means, but now, more than ever, I'm starting to realize I ended up right where I belong. I have a home here that I fought against for so long. No more. I have come to find that... what I have here is everything I could ever need." Touched by his words and his sincerity, Kaylee got up again, turning Simon's head and giving him a deeper, more passionate kiss, and he smiled at her through his obvious pain.
"My parents already adore you, you know," she told him quietly. "They think it's adorable that you gotta be so upright and proper all the time... kinda like I do, actually." That got a small laugh from Simon. "I don't plan on leavin' you any time soon. Not even after all that's happened to us. I want this to work out just as much as you do. I love you, Simon- and I'm glad you feel like you belong."
"I love you, too."
* * *
Much later, after the rest of the crew had gone to bed, Kaylee lay awake in her hammock in the engine room, turning over her earlier conversation with Simon in her mind. She'd wanted to know why she couldn't meet his parents, and, well- it was definitely an answer, even if it was one she hadn't expected. It made her appreciate her own happy upbringing all the more- she herself was an only child, but had a very large extended family, and her own mother and father had always made her feel loved.
The fact that Simon and River's parents had just left their son behind to rescue and care for his mentally ill sister, being totally in denial about the fact that the school they had sent her to had hurt her... she still had trouble, hours later, wrapping her head around the idea.
It also made her feel a deep, awful pang of guilt for all of the times she had gotten so angry at Simon and pushed him away when his awkwardness or lack of tact had hurt her, not even trying to understand why he might be that way. He had been carrying that burden all of that time, on top of everything else...
Finally, Kaylee found herself getting up, then coming back to her hammock and her engine after finding a portable Cortex screen, dialing and waiting patiently until a familiar face answered- her mother Mila, short, portly, with the brown hair and wide smile that her daughter had inherited.
"Mama?"
"Hello, sweetheart."
"I didn't mean to wave so late," Kaylee said apologetically, but her mother waved a hand impatiently.
"Don't worry about it. Usually when you call this late, you've got a pretty good reason to."
"I do. Simon and I had a talk earlier today 'bout his family..." She stopped, looking away from the image of her mother's face.
"And...?" Mila prodded gently.
"His parents were... awful to him, Mama. They didn't believe any of that awful stuff happening to River and they disowned Simon when he kept goin' after her. He's been alone since afore the day he rescued her." Kaylee heard her mother inhale sharply, then curse softly under her breath. "It's makin' me feel so bad for him... and so guilty for all the times I went off on him just for makin' mistakes..."
"But you're supporting him NOW, right?"
"Of course I am."
"Then don't get caught up in what was. You didn't know- there was no way you coulda known, 'less he told you," said Mila gently. "Simon's a hell of a brave man, and keepin' that in couldn't've been easy."
"True." Kaylee sighed, still feeling bothered, and it must have shown in her face because her mother went on,
"His parents sound like a couple of useless high-class pieces of crap. Can't really blame him for not discussin' 'em, but all the same... now that we're a bit wiser, we'll just have to love him a lot more. Right?"
"Yeah." Her mother was about to speak again, but was interrupted by a gruff voice from off camera.
"Mila, who the hell're you talkin' to at this time of night?"
"Your little sunshine, Otis, darling," said Mila, glaring off to the side.
"Oh. Oh, damnit. Sorry."
"Hi, daddy," Kaylee said, unable to suppress a giggle as her father's bearded face appeared in the frame, with eyes to match hers, though he was currently blinking the sleep out of them. "I didn't mean to wake ya."
"Kaylee, you know I never mind seein' my baby girl. Everything okay?" She related the story to both of her parents again, this time in more detail, and her father's face was getting darker and darker the more she went on. "Shit. How someone could do that to their child... 'specially a great kid like Simon. His sister's a little off her rocker, but she adores him and adores you, too."
"Been askin' myself that same question ever since he told me, believe me," Kaylee replied. "Just... don't mention that I told you, okay? Come to think of it, I'm not sure he would've wanted me to share that with anyone just yet."
"Promise," her mother said, and both of her parents grinned. "Though that won't stop us from bein' closer to them. Right?"
"Hell, I kinda wish I could adopt both of 'em right now," said her father, scratching his nose. "Seriously. I can't believe someone bein' so... so... damned stupid. When we had you, Kaylee, was one of the best things ever happened to me. Up there with marryin' my wife." Mila blushed, and Kaylee stuck her tongue out as her parents shared a loving embrace and a kiss. "My point bein' that a child's supposed to be a joy in your life and someone you care about and protect, no matter what. Not somethin' you just toss away." Mila nodded agreement, and Kaylee sighed, still looking- and feeling- troubled.
"Simon's a strong person," her mother told her. "Even just seeing him caring for River, that much is obvious. And him sharin' something like that with you means he trusts you. Now that this is all out in the open, there's only one way to go from here- up."
"True," Kaylee agreed. "I think I still need some time to just... digest all of that, though."
"Can't blame you there. Just be careful not to let it make you sick, right?" Mila pressed her hand against the screen, and Kaylee laid her own hand over the image of her mother's, feeling a sudden deep, aching need to actually be there with them, to just hug her parents and tell them thank you. "You can be strong for him, too, sweetheart. And never forget that your daddy and I are always here for you, no matter what." Kaylee nodded, swallowing a lump in her throat and feeling her eyes water.
"Don't cry now, sunbeam," her dad smiled. "You're loved, and have been loved your whole life. Now you can pass that on to someone really needs it."
"Yeah. Yeah, okay. I can definitely do that."
* * *
Simon had fallen asleep in Kaylee's room- something that seemed to happen more and more often nowadays- wanting to feel close to her while respecting the fact that she wanted a little time alone to think about what he'd told her. He felt exhausted in every way possible from that one conversation, but it was over. He'd laid it all out, and she was going to stick around for now. That thought would sustain him.
He stirred a little when he heard the clank of her boots coming down the ladder, opening one eye and giving her a tired smile. She unfolded the extra bunk that had been installed in her room, propping it up next to his and changing into her pajamas.
"So... are we okay?" he wanted to know, and she leaned in to kiss him on the nose.
"Safe to say we are," she said, and nothing more was spoken until she lay down. Simon ran one hand through her hair, and she sighed happily, leaning into his touch.
"Good," he whispered, feeling his eyes begin to water. "Kaylee... thank you." She shushed him, and he pulled her into his arms.
"Done nothin' you need to thank me for."
"Aside from not running away after hearing all of that. And wanting to stay with me even though I've kept things from you. And for just... being you."
"Shhh." Kaylee silenced him with a kiss on the mouth. "Don't spoil the moment, darlin'." Simon grinned.
"Yes, ma'am."
It was much later when Simon woke up again, somehow unsurprised to find that his sister had wriggled her way in-between the two of them in the meantime, and Kaylee was holding her friend in her sleep.
"Told you so," River whispered, turning her head and sticking her tongue out at her brother.
"Brat," Simon mumbled with affection, also putting an arm around her.
"It's good to have a family," River yawned.
"It is. It's the best feeling in the world." The three were soon asleep in one another's embraces again, protected by the bond of love that had been forged between them, a bond that Simon knew would keep them going for all of their futures.
Author:
shurimonFandom: Firefly
Pairing: Simon Tam/Kaylee Frye
Rating: PG for mild swearing
Summary: Spoilers for the entire series and movie. Simon finally comes completely clean about his past to Kaylee.
Disclaimer: I do not own Firefly or the characters. I make no profit off of this story.
"When can I meet your folks?"
It should have been a simple question, and it was a natural thing for Kaylee to ask when she and Simon had gotten serious, especially when Simon had met her own mother and father. But at the same time, for him, it was a loaded and still-painful question, one he didn't really like talking about. Kaylee tried acting like she didn't care when he made excuses and continually put off explaining why, but Simon could tell it bothered her. And she had every right to feel that way, he thought; considering her own close relationship with her parents, it may have been difficult for her to understand why he would not be eager to introduce her to his own in return.
"Going to have to explain it to her sometime," was his sister's placid reply when Simon took her aside one day to discuss the matter in private, sitting with her at the foremost point of Serenity, in the small alcove in front of the bridge. "You trust her. I trust her. Trust shouldn't come with secrets. She should know." Simon sighed and crossed his arms.
"I have kept things from her, yes," he said quietly. "For our protection, mind. How do you think she and the others would have reacted if they had known the full truth from the start?"
"Moot point. Secrets embedded in me were dug up. Secrets embedded on a dead planet were dug up. They can be found," River pointed out. Simon bit his lip and nodded with some reluctance. "She loves you, Simon. Her parents are good people. They're not going to leave you behind for your honesty. No secrets."
"I know she does." Simon kissed his sister on the forehead. "But this... it's hard, that's all."
"Harder to explain than a school that uses scalpels and needles instead of books and computers?"
"...True." The two siblings watched the stars in silence for a while, River resting her head on her brother's shoulder. Simon nuzzled against her, wishing they could stay in that peaceful place forever, but things always happened. Questions always occurred.
"River. Do you... do you ever think about trying to talk to Mom and Dad again?" Simon ventured.
"No." Simon looked at his sister with his eyebrows furrowed, surprised by her quick reply- but then again, she may have considered it in the past, too, just like he had. River took a deep breath, and Simon knew she was stopping to assemble her thoughts in as orderly and detailed a fashion as she could. Control over her powers and her shattered mind was slowly, slowly becoming easier, but it was still by no means normal. Not any longer. Perhaps it never would be again. "Would have left me to rot without a second thought. They left you to face the impossible alone, didn't believe you, didn't value either of us. The people who cared for us and saved our lives would be beneath them. The woman you love would be beneath them. Unworthy of consideration. They're distant to me now. Alien. Don't want to see or talk to them again."
The stars passed by in silence for another long while, though for Simon, they were blurred by occasional tears stinging his eyes. River silently reached up to wipe them away, her expression unreadable.
"… It must seem silly to you that I'm getting upset, knowing that," he finally remarked. "I guess it's something a part of me has not wanted to acknowledge."
"Not silly. Human. You were always closer to them than me. Knew them longer than me. Always worked to please them. Their abandonment hurt you more than me. It's natural." Simon reached over and gripped his sister's hand, a weight settling on his heart that would take time to disappear- because he realized that even despite everything, a part of him did still miss his parents and wished things had turned out differently. That he could be among his family and the people he was once close to again. That there was something he could do to make bygones be bygones and have a family other than River again. "Secrets and grief should be shared. Brother and sister are family, and the others can be, too. Blood doesn't matter. Talk to her, Simon."
"I will."
* * *
When Simon had poured her tea, Kaylee tightly gripped the cup and peered down into it as she blew to cool it off. She could not put her finger on why it made her so nervous to have this talk with Simon, but it did. His being so secretive about his family made her wary of approaching the subject, and so she was both relieved and scared when he asked her to sit with him and discuss it. If there was some big thing he was hiding about them, though, she felt it was better that it was coming out now, rather than later... or never.
"...Kaylee." She looked up when Simon placed one of his hands over hers. His hand was trembling, but his voice and gaze were steady. "I'm sorry that it took so long for this to come out. I really am. I wanted... to be sure that we could make this work first. There were so many things that could have come between our relationship even aside from this." She nodded, encouraging him to go on, inwardly agreeing with him. "I've dreaded having this conversation for months. But now that we're at this stage, I want there to be no more secrets between us."
"Simon. It's okay." She smiled wanly. "I'm listenin' for as long as you want to talk." Simon let go of her hand, folding his own around his teacup.
"Well... you know a good part of my story already. At least from the time River was sent to the Academy. You know the whole truth of what they were trying to do to her. But there's another part that's missing. One I didn't want to discuss because... it hurt on a very deep, personal level. It hurt in a different way than the rest of it did. It's taken me a long time to unpack and sort out my feelings about this, and challenge a lot of perceptions I had about my mother and father... or maybe finally acknowledge what some part of me knew all along.
"I was born rich. You know that. My parents were totally overjoyed when I showed high intelligence from an early age. They encouraged me to do well in school. And I loved them so much, and wanted to please them, very much so. I wanted to be the perfect son for them, to be someone they would be proud of. Then River came along and..." A pained expression crossed his face. "Though they never said so outright, I think she was, to put it delicately, unexpected. That's why I'm 10 years older than her- my parents probably didn't plan to have more than one child. We didn't realize that she had powers at first, so when she was a baby, she was a handful to take care of. She cried a lot and was difficult to keep calm. Then she developed on an intellectual level even faster than I did. Even so, I took care of her as much as I could. She seemed calmer when she was in my presence. And we developed this strong bond. She absolutely adored me, hero-worshipped me, even though she was so much smarter than me, and I loved her deeply. My parents... I'm not sure they knew what to do with her. How to relate to her. So they were... distant with her. They provided everything we ever needed, materially at least, but looking back on it, we lacked other things that can't be quantified."
He paused to take a drink of tea, and Kaylee watched him, a little floored. This was already a lot to take in, and she could sense it wasn't over yet.
"When I became a surgeon, they were so proud of me," he went on. "But River was already at the Academy by then. The people at that institution wouldn't let her so much as send us a wave. She missed my graduation ceremony because they refused to let her leave the facility. I tried not to worry, like my parents told me to, but it was hard when my sister wouldn't acknowledge me. It was so unlike her. Mom and Dad didn't see anything wrong with it. They thought it was because she was growing up and fitting in and finding her own circle of close friends, but I knew in my heart that something wasn't right. I know now that my parents acted like that because they were afraid of doing anything anti-Alliance. That it would ruin them. That they wouldn't be able to recover if their faith in the Alliance and everything it stood for had been misplaced. Which is why they tried to stop me from looking for information on her." Kaylee's mouth fell open at that.
"I got arrested for being in a blackout zone once. My father paid my bail and told me I had to stop and asked me if I was trying to ruin our family. Even though I had proof, had tried to show them, even though it was staring them right in the face, my parents refused to believe that anything was wrong. So my father gave me a choice- either give up, or I would be on my own. I, obviously, chose my sister. Mom and Dad disowned us." Tears were leaking out of Simon's eyes by now, but he kept pressing on.
"What else could I have done? Left River there, knowing what they were doing to her? So I ended up with all of you. And I couldn't... My parents' attitude was like a deep, personal betrayal. I went into medicine in no small part because Dad thought- and told me, many times- that he thought it was one of the few things that was worthy of me. I did end up liking it, but... I tried so, so hard to be everything they wanted me to be. And it all got thrown away because they didn't care enough about their daughter and thought more of their social status and how it reflected on THEM."
Kaylee set her tea down, got up and put her arms around Simon, feeling her own eyes watering, but she didn't let him see that. His words made her feel little stabs of pain in her heart- because she couldn't begin to fathom a parent doing that to their own children. Simon was a son any parent should love and be proud of- his strength and bravery were just two of the reasons she had fallen for him so hard. How could anybody think that worthy of abandonment?
She held Simon, rubbing his back for a while as he collected himself, pulling away when he gave her a quick peck on the cheek and whispered that he was going to be okay. She returned to her seat, and he wiped his eyes on his sleeve.
"River and I have talked about it and... we decided not to have anything to do with them," he told her, sticking one of his hands into his mouth and lightly biting down on one finger. "It is the best choice to make, I think. But it's... hard."
"I can imagine," she replied, her voice almost a whisper.
"They would most likely consider you to be beneath me, too." Kaylee felt a small rush of anger at that, as she did every time she felt that someone was looking down on her for her background, but it was appeased a little when Simon went on, "They would, but I don't. I want you, Kaylee- more than anybody else in the universe. Make no mistake about it- this hasn't been the easiest journey by any means, but now, more than ever, I'm starting to realize I ended up right where I belong. I have a home here that I fought against for so long. No more. I have come to find that... what I have here is everything I could ever need." Touched by his words and his sincerity, Kaylee got up again, turning Simon's head and giving him a deeper, more passionate kiss, and he smiled at her through his obvious pain.
"My parents already adore you, you know," she told him quietly. "They think it's adorable that you gotta be so upright and proper all the time... kinda like I do, actually." That got a small laugh from Simon. "I don't plan on leavin' you any time soon. Not even after all that's happened to us. I want this to work out just as much as you do. I love you, Simon- and I'm glad you feel like you belong."
"I love you, too."
* * *
Much later, after the rest of the crew had gone to bed, Kaylee lay awake in her hammock in the engine room, turning over her earlier conversation with Simon in her mind. She'd wanted to know why she couldn't meet his parents, and, well- it was definitely an answer, even if it was one she hadn't expected. It made her appreciate her own happy upbringing all the more- she herself was an only child, but had a very large extended family, and her own mother and father had always made her feel loved.
The fact that Simon and River's parents had just left their son behind to rescue and care for his mentally ill sister, being totally in denial about the fact that the school they had sent her to had hurt her... she still had trouble, hours later, wrapping her head around the idea.
It also made her feel a deep, awful pang of guilt for all of the times she had gotten so angry at Simon and pushed him away when his awkwardness or lack of tact had hurt her, not even trying to understand why he might be that way. He had been carrying that burden all of that time, on top of everything else...
Finally, Kaylee found herself getting up, then coming back to her hammock and her engine after finding a portable Cortex screen, dialing and waiting patiently until a familiar face answered- her mother Mila, short, portly, with the brown hair and wide smile that her daughter had inherited.
"Mama?"
"Hello, sweetheart."
"I didn't mean to wave so late," Kaylee said apologetically, but her mother waved a hand impatiently.
"Don't worry about it. Usually when you call this late, you've got a pretty good reason to."
"I do. Simon and I had a talk earlier today 'bout his family..." She stopped, looking away from the image of her mother's face.
"And...?" Mila prodded gently.
"His parents were... awful to him, Mama. They didn't believe any of that awful stuff happening to River and they disowned Simon when he kept goin' after her. He's been alone since afore the day he rescued her." Kaylee heard her mother inhale sharply, then curse softly under her breath. "It's makin' me feel so bad for him... and so guilty for all the times I went off on him just for makin' mistakes..."
"But you're supporting him NOW, right?"
"Of course I am."
"Then don't get caught up in what was. You didn't know- there was no way you coulda known, 'less he told you," said Mila gently. "Simon's a hell of a brave man, and keepin' that in couldn't've been easy."
"True." Kaylee sighed, still feeling bothered, and it must have shown in her face because her mother went on,
"His parents sound like a couple of useless high-class pieces of crap. Can't really blame him for not discussin' 'em, but all the same... now that we're a bit wiser, we'll just have to love him a lot more. Right?"
"Yeah." Her mother was about to speak again, but was interrupted by a gruff voice from off camera.
"Mila, who the hell're you talkin' to at this time of night?"
"Your little sunshine, Otis, darling," said Mila, glaring off to the side.
"Oh. Oh, damnit. Sorry."
"Hi, daddy," Kaylee said, unable to suppress a giggle as her father's bearded face appeared in the frame, with eyes to match hers, though he was currently blinking the sleep out of them. "I didn't mean to wake ya."
"Kaylee, you know I never mind seein' my baby girl. Everything okay?" She related the story to both of her parents again, this time in more detail, and her father's face was getting darker and darker the more she went on. "Shit. How someone could do that to their child... 'specially a great kid like Simon. His sister's a little off her rocker, but she adores him and adores you, too."
"Been askin' myself that same question ever since he told me, believe me," Kaylee replied. "Just... don't mention that I told you, okay? Come to think of it, I'm not sure he would've wanted me to share that with anyone just yet."
"Promise," her mother said, and both of her parents grinned. "Though that won't stop us from bein' closer to them. Right?"
"Hell, I kinda wish I could adopt both of 'em right now," said her father, scratching his nose. "Seriously. I can't believe someone bein' so... so... damned stupid. When we had you, Kaylee, was one of the best things ever happened to me. Up there with marryin' my wife." Mila blushed, and Kaylee stuck her tongue out as her parents shared a loving embrace and a kiss. "My point bein' that a child's supposed to be a joy in your life and someone you care about and protect, no matter what. Not somethin' you just toss away." Mila nodded agreement, and Kaylee sighed, still looking- and feeling- troubled.
"Simon's a strong person," her mother told her. "Even just seeing him caring for River, that much is obvious. And him sharin' something like that with you means he trusts you. Now that this is all out in the open, there's only one way to go from here- up."
"True," Kaylee agreed. "I think I still need some time to just... digest all of that, though."
"Can't blame you there. Just be careful not to let it make you sick, right?" Mila pressed her hand against the screen, and Kaylee laid her own hand over the image of her mother's, feeling a sudden deep, aching need to actually be there with them, to just hug her parents and tell them thank you. "You can be strong for him, too, sweetheart. And never forget that your daddy and I are always here for you, no matter what." Kaylee nodded, swallowing a lump in her throat and feeling her eyes water.
"Don't cry now, sunbeam," her dad smiled. "You're loved, and have been loved your whole life. Now you can pass that on to someone really needs it."
"Yeah. Yeah, okay. I can definitely do that."
* * *
Simon had fallen asleep in Kaylee's room- something that seemed to happen more and more often nowadays- wanting to feel close to her while respecting the fact that she wanted a little time alone to think about what he'd told her. He felt exhausted in every way possible from that one conversation, but it was over. He'd laid it all out, and she was going to stick around for now. That thought would sustain him.
He stirred a little when he heard the clank of her boots coming down the ladder, opening one eye and giving her a tired smile. She unfolded the extra bunk that had been installed in her room, propping it up next to his and changing into her pajamas.
"So... are we okay?" he wanted to know, and she leaned in to kiss him on the nose.
"Safe to say we are," she said, and nothing more was spoken until she lay down. Simon ran one hand through her hair, and she sighed happily, leaning into his touch.
"Good," he whispered, feeling his eyes begin to water. "Kaylee... thank you." She shushed him, and he pulled her into his arms.
"Done nothin' you need to thank me for."
"Aside from not running away after hearing all of that. And wanting to stay with me even though I've kept things from you. And for just... being you."
"Shhh." Kaylee silenced him with a kiss on the mouth. "Don't spoil the moment, darlin'." Simon grinned.
"Yes, ma'am."
It was much later when Simon woke up again, somehow unsurprised to find that his sister had wriggled her way in-between the two of them in the meantime, and Kaylee was holding her friend in her sleep.
"Told you so," River whispered, turning her head and sticking her tongue out at her brother.
"Brat," Simon mumbled with affection, also putting an arm around her.
"It's good to have a family," River yawned.
"It is. It's the best feeling in the world." The three were soon asleep in one another's embraces again, protected by the bond of love that had been forged between them, a bond that Simon knew would keep them going for all of their futures.