Kaylee Frye [Firefly/Serenity] (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hot4engines) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
doublestars2012-03-15 10:16 pm
hot4engines) wrote in doublestars2012-03-15 10:16 pm
Fanfic: "Reasons Why", Simon/Kaylee, G
Title: Reasons Why
Author:shurimon
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Simon Tam/Kaylee Frye
Rating: G
Summary: Spoilers for the entire series and movie. Simon and Kaylee both think about the reasons they love each other.
Disclaimer: I do not own Firefly or the characters. I make no profit off of this story.
"There's a mistake. There has to be a mistake."
"Doc, you know just as well as I do that the updated arrest warrants're posted like clockwork," said Mal patiently. "Especially the most-wanted. No sign of one for you OR your sister. Not yesterday, nor the day before, and certainly not today." Simon pressed a hand to his forehead and began to pace, hardly daring to accept it. It could be a trick. A cruel attempt to lull him into a false sense of security. "You know what the Operative said, son," Mal went on, his voice surprisingly gentle. "It's looking to be the truth. They don't consider you a threat any more."
"Not like we had much of a reason to believe him," Simon mumbled.
"Point," Mal agreed. "But 's also a little hard to deny that the Alliance was very, very eager to get their hands on you and made no attempt to hide it. If your warrants are gone- have been gone for days- that's gotta mean somethin'."
"Yeah. What, you WANNA get arrested?" Jayne sneered, and Simon shot him a glare, but remained silent. He let out a long, slow breath when he felt a comforting arm wrap around him.
"Come on," Kaylee murmured in his ear. "Let's go. Get away from the computers, maybe, find somethin' to take your mind off this." Simon nodded and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, twining his fingers in hers, and the two began leaving the bridge.
"Just do it someplace other than the engine room this time!" Mal called after them, and his and Jayne's cackles followed them down the hall.
* * *
Kaylee frowned as she watched Simon sleep on her bunk- the brand-new bunk with a fold-up second cot that had just been installed in her quarters the night before. A gift from him that would allow the two of them the intimacy and privacy that the engine room just couldn't afford. His sleep was restless, anxious, making her wonder what he was dreaming about, though she could venture a guess. Simon still seemed to be having trouble accepting that he was now a free man- even after two solid months with no sign of either of the Tam siblings on the wanted list, even after his assets were slowly unfrozen and he'd been given free access to them, even after he'd been persuaded to venture out in public and any Feds they'd seen had hardly glanced at him.
"He's scared." Kaylee jumped at the voice. A set of nearly-silent bare feet appeared on the first rung of her ladder, and River climbed down, frowning as she crossed the room and sat on the bunk with her brother. Kaylee looked at her questioningly, and she elaborated. "He did so much for me. Sacrificed so much. Almost lost it all in spite of that. He's scared that this is a cruel prank. That it'll be taken away from him."
"Oh..." Kaylee sighed, reaching over to rest her hand on Simon's cheek. She thought she could understand- after almost a year on the run from people who would just as soon execute him as look at him, he'd had to be paranoid and wary by necessity. "Poor thing. Isn't there anything I can do to help him?"
"You're doing so much already. Being present and loving." Kaylee then put her arms around River, who snuggled into the older girl's embrace. "It's true. And he'll accept that we'll be fine soon. Then you can begin writing your story." Kaylee chuckled.
"I hope it'll be a fairy tale, but I know it's not gonna be that simple."
"But it'll be a beautiful story," said River firmly. "Beautiful stories can be complicated and have bumps in the road."
"Can't argue with that." Kaylee then bit her lip, a question occurring to her at that- because there were sure to be bumps, and she wanted to be as prepared as possible to deal with them. Sensing this, River shushed her, and the two got up and climbed out of her room, drifting toward the cargo bay so they could continue their conversation out of earshot of the subject of it. "...River," Kaylee finally spoke. "You've known Simon a lot longer'n I have, and, well... we both know he can be... I mean, like you said, it's going to be complicated." River actually laughed at that.
"Kaylee. I love my brother, but I know he's not perfect. He's scared to love you, too." Kaylee frowned, and River opened and closed her mouth a few times, then stopped, closing her eyes and looking serene. Kaylee patiently waited, knowing she was gathering her thoughts into a more coherent form. "...He's scared of the idea of putting someone else's needs in front of mine. That I'll think he doesn't care for me any more if he does. Scared of how your relationship will be when he has to put me in front of you. He's scared to be happy outside of me." Kaylee bowed her head as she took all of that in, trying to pick it apart all at once before she realized she would need time to digest it. She knew bits and pieces of everything Simon had done for River, and the close bond between the two siblings was evident to anybody who saw them. How could Simon think that River wouldn't want him to find happiness, would ever stop caring about her even if he found a romantic partner?
"… So what do I do?" she finally whispered, feeling her heart sink, suddenly feeling unsure of River's firm belief that their story would be a beautiful one. It would be easier to just back away, after all. It was always easier. But Kaylee wasn't sure she was ready to end the journey, she realized, despite her uneasiness. River closed her eyes again, and when she next opened them and spoke, it was with unusual clarity.
"Think about why you love him, and hold it in here." A small hand was pressed over Kaylee's heart. "Never forget that, when you feel tested. We both know it's not going to be perfect. He can be a boob, yes, and he's taken a while to get used to this kind of life. His fear might make him say and do stupid things. But keep why you love him in your heart, and it will get you through the times you feel like just giving up. And he'll do the same, for the same reason. His heart wants this more than anything. His head just needs a little time to catch up." This speech seemed to tire her out, so River leaned on Kaylee a little as they went toward the passenger dorms, and she began to reflect on what River had said.
Why DO I love him? she wondered. She had never really stopped to think about and list out all the reasons beyond a physical attraction, after all- it wasn't like she'd had much time or space to think about it, not with their constant life of adventure.
"You can probably say why I love him better than I ever could," Kaylee pointed out when they reached River's room.
"But I wanna hear you say it," she yawned in response, crawling into her bunk and curling up, brown eyes peering owlishly at her. "And it will help you understand. Some things need to be said aloud. Acknowledging them makes them solid."
"Well..." Kaylee hesitated, then sat down at the foot of River's bed. "He's so incredibly handsome. I know he don't think so, but he is. And he's really, really smart.... he does good work, fixin' people the way he does. Sure saved my life more'n once. All of ours, actually. He's also really brave- ain't never seen him back down. He'll face what he's afraid of and not run away from it. He can be funny when he loosens up a little bit. And he's so devoted to you, River... if I get even half that level of care, I'll be a hell of a lucky woman." Kaylee looked over at River to gauge her response, only to see that the girl had fallen asleep. Kaylee sighed and shook her head, pulling the covers over her. "I love your brother because... I just love him. Don't think I need much else." River smiled in her sleep, and Kaylee left, almost feeling like walking on air- and DEFINITELY feeling like she needed to see her boyfriend. Laying it all out like that made her feel even more in love with him.
"Hello, sunshine," Simon smiled when he saw her coming down the stairs, making Kaylee blush- it was the pet name he had chosen for her. "Was just wondering where you were." He sat up and stretched, then got up to unfold the extra bunk.
"Tucking your sister in," Kaylee explained, unable to stop grinning.
"Good. I am glad that she has a friend like you. And you're certainly in a good mood," Simon observed, leaning in to kiss her.
"Sure am. Kinda cuddly, too. Hint, hint," and her boyfriend laughed.
"Coming right up." Once the bunks were in place and the two were comfortable under the covers, Simon reached over to stroke Kaylee's cheek, making her tremble. He then pulled her into his arms, and she lay her head on his chest, feeling overwhelmingly sleepy herself. "Rest," Simon whispered.
* * *
The trail of Kaylee's voice and thoughts flowed away as River fell asleep, into a mire of half-formed thoughts and ideas, but her dreams were pleasant ones, filled with feelings of attraction and love and nervousness, the kind of heart-pounding nervousness that came from being in love, so madly in love that you didn't want to screw it up and would try anything to make sure you didn't.
It wasn't long, however, before she awoke, sensing trouble deep within the ship, an engine part coming loose as they so often did, and could feel Kaylee's near-supernatural intuition wake her and send her running to fix it. It could be a while, even with her skill... River sat up and rubbed her eyes, thinking back on her and her friend's conversation, then realizing that this was a good time to straighten things out with her brother. River drifted over to the cabinet inside her room, puffing her cheeks out and sighing heavily as she opened it to see the medication inside. It gave her longer and longer moments of clarity, clarity that she could use to push Simon back on the right path and maybe get him to stop being so scared and stubborn and let love in. But when the clarity went away... and then there were needles to inject the drugs with
flashes of a laboratory and people in masks and thoughts and empty screaming
and she HATED needles.
When she next became aware of what she was doing, she was climbing down the stairs to Kaylee's room again, the room full of her things that was slowly getting more and more of Simon's things, mixing their two lives into one, piece by piece.
Seeing his sister, Simon lifted the covers, a silent invitation to climb into the bunk with him. She snuggled up to him, feeling safe and sheltered when he pulled her close, as she always did. River stayed in that safe place for a while, enjoying that feeling of being untouchable, as the medicine took hold before her expression turned serious.
"What is it?" Simon wanted to know.
"Tell me why you love Kaylee."
"… What brought this on?"
"She told me why she loves you and made it solid and something she can carry. Want you to do the same. It will get you through rough spots while you're writing the story of you." Simon frowned and considered, which she expected- her brother was always so meticulous.
"… She's... well. She's beautiful," he replied, a blush coloring his cheeks, which River found to be adorable. "No matter if she's clean or covered in soot and grease. She's kept us in the air... saved our lives more than once because of her genius. More than that, she's kept us TOGETHER. She loves all of us and tries so hard to make us act like a family. She takes care of you. She's sweet, and funny, and when she smiles it feels like the whole 'verse lights up." Simon kissed his sister's nose. "I love her, meimei. Because she's her. It's reason enough for me."
A flash of things to come- a wedding dress, a house together and a little apartment close but not too close, three lives- husband and wife and sister, and adding two more far on down the road- before River was back in the present and her brother's arms, and then Kaylee was there, too, and it was right and beautiful.
Author:
shurimonFandom: Firefly
Pairing: Simon Tam/Kaylee Frye
Rating: G
Summary: Spoilers for the entire series and movie. Simon and Kaylee both think about the reasons they love each other.
Disclaimer: I do not own Firefly or the characters. I make no profit off of this story.
"There's a mistake. There has to be a mistake."
"Doc, you know just as well as I do that the updated arrest warrants're posted like clockwork," said Mal patiently. "Especially the most-wanted. No sign of one for you OR your sister. Not yesterday, nor the day before, and certainly not today." Simon pressed a hand to his forehead and began to pace, hardly daring to accept it. It could be a trick. A cruel attempt to lull him into a false sense of security. "You know what the Operative said, son," Mal went on, his voice surprisingly gentle. "It's looking to be the truth. They don't consider you a threat any more."
"Not like we had much of a reason to believe him," Simon mumbled.
"Point," Mal agreed. "But 's also a little hard to deny that the Alliance was very, very eager to get their hands on you and made no attempt to hide it. If your warrants are gone- have been gone for days- that's gotta mean somethin'."
"Yeah. What, you WANNA get arrested?" Jayne sneered, and Simon shot him a glare, but remained silent. He let out a long, slow breath when he felt a comforting arm wrap around him.
"Come on," Kaylee murmured in his ear. "Let's go. Get away from the computers, maybe, find somethin' to take your mind off this." Simon nodded and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, twining his fingers in hers, and the two began leaving the bridge.
"Just do it someplace other than the engine room this time!" Mal called after them, and his and Jayne's cackles followed them down the hall.
* * *
Kaylee frowned as she watched Simon sleep on her bunk- the brand-new bunk with a fold-up second cot that had just been installed in her quarters the night before. A gift from him that would allow the two of them the intimacy and privacy that the engine room just couldn't afford. His sleep was restless, anxious, making her wonder what he was dreaming about, though she could venture a guess. Simon still seemed to be having trouble accepting that he was now a free man- even after two solid months with no sign of either of the Tam siblings on the wanted list, even after his assets were slowly unfrozen and he'd been given free access to them, even after he'd been persuaded to venture out in public and any Feds they'd seen had hardly glanced at him.
"He's scared." Kaylee jumped at the voice. A set of nearly-silent bare feet appeared on the first rung of her ladder, and River climbed down, frowning as she crossed the room and sat on the bunk with her brother. Kaylee looked at her questioningly, and she elaborated. "He did so much for me. Sacrificed so much. Almost lost it all in spite of that. He's scared that this is a cruel prank. That it'll be taken away from him."
"Oh..." Kaylee sighed, reaching over to rest her hand on Simon's cheek. She thought she could understand- after almost a year on the run from people who would just as soon execute him as look at him, he'd had to be paranoid and wary by necessity. "Poor thing. Isn't there anything I can do to help him?"
"You're doing so much already. Being present and loving." Kaylee then put her arms around River, who snuggled into the older girl's embrace. "It's true. And he'll accept that we'll be fine soon. Then you can begin writing your story." Kaylee chuckled.
"I hope it'll be a fairy tale, but I know it's not gonna be that simple."
"But it'll be a beautiful story," said River firmly. "Beautiful stories can be complicated and have bumps in the road."
"Can't argue with that." Kaylee then bit her lip, a question occurring to her at that- because there were sure to be bumps, and she wanted to be as prepared as possible to deal with them. Sensing this, River shushed her, and the two got up and climbed out of her room, drifting toward the cargo bay so they could continue their conversation out of earshot of the subject of it. "...River," Kaylee finally spoke. "You've known Simon a lot longer'n I have, and, well... we both know he can be... I mean, like you said, it's going to be complicated." River actually laughed at that.
"Kaylee. I love my brother, but I know he's not perfect. He's scared to love you, too." Kaylee frowned, and River opened and closed her mouth a few times, then stopped, closing her eyes and looking serene. Kaylee patiently waited, knowing she was gathering her thoughts into a more coherent form. "...He's scared of the idea of putting someone else's needs in front of mine. That I'll think he doesn't care for me any more if he does. Scared of how your relationship will be when he has to put me in front of you. He's scared to be happy outside of me." Kaylee bowed her head as she took all of that in, trying to pick it apart all at once before she realized she would need time to digest it. She knew bits and pieces of everything Simon had done for River, and the close bond between the two siblings was evident to anybody who saw them. How could Simon think that River wouldn't want him to find happiness, would ever stop caring about her even if he found a romantic partner?
"… So what do I do?" she finally whispered, feeling her heart sink, suddenly feeling unsure of River's firm belief that their story would be a beautiful one. It would be easier to just back away, after all. It was always easier. But Kaylee wasn't sure she was ready to end the journey, she realized, despite her uneasiness. River closed her eyes again, and when she next opened them and spoke, it was with unusual clarity.
"Think about why you love him, and hold it in here." A small hand was pressed over Kaylee's heart. "Never forget that, when you feel tested. We both know it's not going to be perfect. He can be a boob, yes, and he's taken a while to get used to this kind of life. His fear might make him say and do stupid things. But keep why you love him in your heart, and it will get you through the times you feel like just giving up. And he'll do the same, for the same reason. His heart wants this more than anything. His head just needs a little time to catch up." This speech seemed to tire her out, so River leaned on Kaylee a little as they went toward the passenger dorms, and she began to reflect on what River had said.
Why DO I love him? she wondered. She had never really stopped to think about and list out all the reasons beyond a physical attraction, after all- it wasn't like she'd had much time or space to think about it, not with their constant life of adventure.
"You can probably say why I love him better than I ever could," Kaylee pointed out when they reached River's room.
"But I wanna hear you say it," she yawned in response, crawling into her bunk and curling up, brown eyes peering owlishly at her. "And it will help you understand. Some things need to be said aloud. Acknowledging them makes them solid."
"Well..." Kaylee hesitated, then sat down at the foot of River's bed. "He's so incredibly handsome. I know he don't think so, but he is. And he's really, really smart.... he does good work, fixin' people the way he does. Sure saved my life more'n once. All of ours, actually. He's also really brave- ain't never seen him back down. He'll face what he's afraid of and not run away from it. He can be funny when he loosens up a little bit. And he's so devoted to you, River... if I get even half that level of care, I'll be a hell of a lucky woman." Kaylee looked over at River to gauge her response, only to see that the girl had fallen asleep. Kaylee sighed and shook her head, pulling the covers over her. "I love your brother because... I just love him. Don't think I need much else." River smiled in her sleep, and Kaylee left, almost feeling like walking on air- and DEFINITELY feeling like she needed to see her boyfriend. Laying it all out like that made her feel even more in love with him.
"Hello, sunshine," Simon smiled when he saw her coming down the stairs, making Kaylee blush- it was the pet name he had chosen for her. "Was just wondering where you were." He sat up and stretched, then got up to unfold the extra bunk.
"Tucking your sister in," Kaylee explained, unable to stop grinning.
"Good. I am glad that she has a friend like you. And you're certainly in a good mood," Simon observed, leaning in to kiss her.
"Sure am. Kinda cuddly, too. Hint, hint," and her boyfriend laughed.
"Coming right up." Once the bunks were in place and the two were comfortable under the covers, Simon reached over to stroke Kaylee's cheek, making her tremble. He then pulled her into his arms, and she lay her head on his chest, feeling overwhelmingly sleepy herself. "Rest," Simon whispered.
* * *
The trail of Kaylee's voice and thoughts flowed away as River fell asleep, into a mire of half-formed thoughts and ideas, but her dreams were pleasant ones, filled with feelings of attraction and love and nervousness, the kind of heart-pounding nervousness that came from being in love, so madly in love that you didn't want to screw it up and would try anything to make sure you didn't.
It wasn't long, however, before she awoke, sensing trouble deep within the ship, an engine part coming loose as they so often did, and could feel Kaylee's near-supernatural intuition wake her and send her running to fix it. It could be a while, even with her skill... River sat up and rubbed her eyes, thinking back on her and her friend's conversation, then realizing that this was a good time to straighten things out with her brother. River drifted over to the cabinet inside her room, puffing her cheeks out and sighing heavily as she opened it to see the medication inside. It gave her longer and longer moments of clarity, clarity that she could use to push Simon back on the right path and maybe get him to stop being so scared and stubborn and let love in. But when the clarity went away... and then there were needles to inject the drugs with
flashes of a laboratory and people in masks and thoughts and empty screaming
and she HATED needles.
When she next became aware of what she was doing, she was climbing down the stairs to Kaylee's room again, the room full of her things that was slowly getting more and more of Simon's things, mixing their two lives into one, piece by piece.
Seeing his sister, Simon lifted the covers, a silent invitation to climb into the bunk with him. She snuggled up to him, feeling safe and sheltered when he pulled her close, as she always did. River stayed in that safe place for a while, enjoying that feeling of being untouchable, as the medicine took hold before her expression turned serious.
"What is it?" Simon wanted to know.
"Tell me why you love Kaylee."
"… What brought this on?"
"She told me why she loves you and made it solid and something she can carry. Want you to do the same. It will get you through rough spots while you're writing the story of you." Simon frowned and considered, which she expected- her brother was always so meticulous.
"… She's... well. She's beautiful," he replied, a blush coloring his cheeks, which River found to be adorable. "No matter if she's clean or covered in soot and grease. She's kept us in the air... saved our lives more than once because of her genius. More than that, she's kept us TOGETHER. She loves all of us and tries so hard to make us act like a family. She takes care of you. She's sweet, and funny, and when she smiles it feels like the whole 'verse lights up." Simon kissed his sister's nose. "I love her, meimei. Because she's her. It's reason enough for me."
A flash of things to come- a wedding dress, a house together and a little apartment close but not too close, three lives- husband and wife and sister, and adding two more far on down the road- before River was back in the present and her brother's arms, and then Kaylee was there, too, and it was right and beautiful.